I would like to open up to everyone, well at least anyone who might read this post, something I have been struggling with and I pray it speaks to your heart.
I don't think fear has ever been in my vocabulary. I have along the way jumped into many careers and opportunities without hesitation. (I lost track around 35) Yet, recently I feared what God had in store for me, so much so I avoided it and filled my life up with many distractions. Some good, some possibly not so good. I love serving others, volunteering and helping anyone I can. I love to be involved in good things for my children's schools, my community, my church and my family all because I love them so deeply and profoundly I never want to see them in need or hurt. I like to be a part of making life just a little easier for any of them. I see a need and in seconds I am raising my hand to take the lead. It is second nature for me. Though I have cut back dramatically on what I participate in I am still distracted. (I know some of you might be saying really you cut back??!!) But I really have. In the last year, I have said no so many times, that I feel guilty about it. But that hasn't been the hardest part, here's the hard part to admit, though everything I was doing was good didn't mean it was God.
I joke often about I still haven't figured out what I am going to be when I grow up and I am now 44. (BTW anyone who wished me happy birthday and I didn't personally thank you, I thank you now, I have personally been in deep prayer) Trying to find my place in it all has really opened my eyes to see the distractions though seemingly good were not from God. And though sometimes those space and time fillers were by no means harming anyone nor were the intentions of people asking me to do things, my yes kept me from God's intentions for my life.
I don't say this for everyone to now never ask me to help again. LOL I really don't want anyone to get the wrong impression. Ask and if I feel led to I will. Because now I feel confident in God's word for my life.
What I want you all to hear is this:
I am blessed to have people reach out to me for help, for creative things going on in the community and for ideas, the fact that when someone has an idea for something, they think of me as the perfect person for the job is both humbling and gracious. But not everyone is blessed by an impression someone might have of them, not everyone can say that others seek them for things that are good. We as a society judge quickly others just as much as we judge ourselves. I have been on both ends of judgement. I judge myself, others have judged me and I have judged others. I ask that for the person with the grand ideas, see past the mistakes of others and give them a chance to be the perfect person for the job, be open to receiving help from the most unlikely. And for those being looked over after all your hard work, stand proud for your work isn't just here on earth. I get it though- it isn't fair and it hurts. We stand there in the midst of someone's celebration and can't help but ask why them and not me. Honey child, it wasn't God's plan for you and you have to trust his timing. And if you are too busy looking at God's plan on those around you, you are gonna miss the plan He has had for you all along. Our God is so great in so many ways, He made each of us different - all 7.7 billion of us and growing. If He can make 7.7 billion different fingerprints, can't He make 7.7 billion different plans, 7.7 billion different stories? He has a plan specially made for you, one that is not defined by your mistakes, not defined by your peers or anyone on the face of this earth. He made one plan with your name on it, now start living it sha!!
