well first of all, we are looking at remodeling our home and have been going over each room and the way we want it to look, but was having a hard time trying to figure out what we wanted for our bedroom. i then asked him, my husband of course, "okay, bey' if money wasn't a issue where would you want to take me." he responded, "to the bedroom" i said, "no, i mean anywhere in the world, like somewhere real romantic and then we can mimic that in our room." again his wonderful response would be ...
so if you read before this little stinker wants to drop out of school in the first grade and mom going to jail really doesn't matter. i have tried all the bribing, rewarding, and punishing i could think of, put out some timers, ignored him - nothing. even talking to the counselor and principal didn't seem to phase him. so what does any mother in her right mind do (LOL - cuz i'm not) break out some
80's music and dance and sing all morning long while they dress, brush their hair & teeth and even in the van on the way to school. hey it worked for two days so far, i say that's progress. so don't worry when you see me on the road and it looks like i'm having seizures in my van @ 8AM, i'm just getting my kids pumped up for school - sorry teachers!
for today is the day that i found out that this young girl passed away last week. and why is this sitting on my heart so profoundly --- because i once was her teacher and not just any teacher, but her health teacher. the teacher who taught about drug abuse and passionately told stories of my own friends who abused and suffered. i was the teacher who spoke to them one on one about the consequences and what life could be like without drugs. the teacher who told them that yeah life sucked sometimes, but we all have to struggle it's what makes us who we are. i was the teacher who stuck by my word to be the role model they needed and didn't experiment, i was the adult who faced adversity, poverty, & discrimination with strength and determination, not using & abusing all for the purpose of leading them in the right direction. i gave it my all that year, i put my heart and soul into them that year, i ripped my heart out and layed it on their desks for all of them to see that - yes life can be painful, but that they had two choices in this world - to be happy or to be miserable - and that drugs was not the answer. and though i didn't stick around for the years to come, now i wish i had, i had hoped that my words would have. and why now do i mention this, b/c it makes me reflect on what more could i have done. what more could i have said. truthfully we'll never know, none of us, but boy it makes you hold your loved ones a little closer knowing that somewhere deep down they might be struggling with something only they know. i truly adored this all smiles girl and to her family i pray that they find peace in all of this. and to her classmates i say to you: choose happy no matter what misery is going on around you. choose happy no matter what walls are crumbling. choose happy when nothing else seems to matter anymore. choose.happy. choose.happy. but do it on your own like i know you can. get through it, like i know you can. take the adventure like i know you can and bring others with you b/c the journey is not worth it without company in the end it won't matter if you won or lost, it will only matter if you got through it and helped others get through it as well. i went to HJH with the intention of making a difference in the world, changing it one student at a time, what i never realized was how much teaching them made a difference in me, it changed me, it made me believe in myself like i hadn't before, it made me - feel fulfilled and i miss that and i miss all of you. please if you are reading this all my fellow HJH students - please know that you are special to this world, so live like you are special - take care of yourselves.
may you rest in peace Brittany, the good Lord is by your side.
so we are only what like 4 days in and already Hunter is ready to quit. the first grade, not 9th, not 8th, or 7th, no 1st grade. like seriously quit school, not just not go. so i explained of course like any mother what would happen if he didn't get an education. you know the usual you'll be a bum on the side of the road and never be able to read and someone will then make you sign papers and steal all your money. and you'll never get a job or have clothes or money and then you'll be a desperate dope fiend - okay so i overexaggerated some, but hey i was grasping at whatever i could to get him to go to school - i even went the whole mom will go to jail route - his response, "well how long would you be there?" then proceeds to tell me he'll visit me. great! thanks Hunter, be sure to send some stuffed brownies when you do.
i know that scares you to the core! i mean i'm sure you are walking into wal-mart right now looking around thinking - good grief i hope that i don't run into that lady that yells at her children all the time, they must invest in plenty of tylenol.
cuz yeah, i yell at my kids and i'll even do it in front of you, the wal-mart employee, and the cop in the next check out line. dang it i'll even do it in front of social services, heck i worked for social services, i'll be glad to call some of my peeps while i yell at them. my children are not going to litter, do you hear me? never and if i catch them when they are twenty so help me God - i will do what my 7th grade teacher did to someone that littered and dump two weeks worth of garbage on their front lawn and see how they like it. and no i'm not some like environmentalist, though i once was in Greenpeace (hey, i loved whales). but my children will not ever just throw stuff on the ground and then just walk away. so, i got some stares as i told my daughter that she needed to pick it up and put it in the trash, but i got even more when she didn' t and i raised my voice to explain to her that she "needed to respect the store and not trash it or we would just live in a world like wall-e and i know you don't want to live in a world that stinks like your brothers." well, she cried a tear and i'm sure all felt so sorry for the drama mama, even my son who pointed out people were staring, which i didn't notice b/c like i said, i was on a mission to convince my daughter that her tootsie roll paper as small as it may be would trash the world we love and destroy life as we know it. well okay maybe not like that bad - but you see where she gets the drama from.