Something that is needed

I have never posted about this, not because I don't believe it's important - but I guess just because I couldn't find the right words to put together.

Imagine that 

me 

not being able to put words together.  

But right now this is needed, 

it needs to be said, 

it needs to be expressed, 

it needs to be exposed, 

it needs to be known.  

and you might judge me, 

you might think yeah right, 

you might just nod your head, 

but regardless, here it is ...

I am human, I am a sinner.  It has taken awhile for me to say that without beating myself up for making mistakes daily.  I have that syndrome, you know the one that causes you to think you have to do everything perfect and when you don't it breaks you.  I often preach to my kids that we all make mistakes and that's okay, but it's what you do after them that makes a difference.  Yet even as those words leave my lips I can't apply them to myself.  I think to myself often that what I am doing is not enough and I push myself harder. Sometimes I even think life is unfair when I watch my friends and family suffer and why some are given hardships that I may never face.

But then I remember God's plan and though it might not be mapped out for me on mapquest and no I can't google it, but somehow I just

trust.

Trust that His plan is going the way it should, trust that the path myself and others are on are just part of His greater plan.  That who I might meet along my troubled path and walks in darkness will bring light to others.  Now I will say to you that in my church

we sing and we praise 

and we sing and we praise 

and we sing and we praise.  

And I always feel the spirit and enlightenment long after I leave,

but this week, 

this week 

I did more than just sing and praise.  I confessed with my tongue everything that was in my heart.  I prayed for my two best friends who were facing critical medical conditions that seemed hopeless.  One who since having her baby has had complications with a stint and another after fighting cancer for the first time was reliving it all again, but this time in the lungs.

I went into church heavily, my footsteps pounded as I walked to the front, my heart crushed, my mind foggy, my body aching from carrying the stress on my shoulders and then this song made me lift my hands and throw everything at his throne.

As I took a deep breath in I suddenly realized that I was no longer in pain and that peace had came over me and 

I cried and sang 

and cried and sang.  

And then I just knew that this was my path and I was drawing closer to him and my two friends were going to be okay.  

You might just say fiddlesticks 

or you might just say wow that's great!  

But I am here to tell you that today, my friends are feeling better and if you ever doubted the power of prayer and the mighty LORD

it ends here!

You leave that behind and just believe 

and don't be ashamed to believe and shout it from the rooftops.  

Don't be ashamed to be weak, find strength in him.  

And don't be ashamed of who you are, b/c he loves you anyway.  He is your father and he knows you will stumble along the way, he has the plan and if it is his will it will be done.  

Let him have his way with you!

JUST TRUST!!

When I grow up ...

So as I thought Career Day for Claire went exactly as I thought.  Yes, I know at least she is consistent.  She of course changed her mind the night before and then when she woke up she again changed her mind not once, but yes twice.  She had stated she was going to be a dancer before resting her head for the night.  I should have known that after I had laid everything out that she would change her mind yet again.  Maybe it was a dream she had that night that made her think that she had chosen the wrong career, but she went from dancer to teacher overnight.  She chooses, what she thinks, is what a teacher would wear (hello kitty shirt and tutu with leggings - well I mean come on what teacher doesn't wear that), but as she looks in the mirror she says, "I don't look cute enough."  Well, that then set off the hunt for a new career 15 minutes before she needed to be at school.  I felt like I was reliving my college years again - changing my major every semester.  In the end, she finally chose this:

I asked her who she was and her reply was, "Umm, mom don't you know, hellooo I am CeCe from Shake It Up!"  Well, of course I knew THAT!!  

I mean come on mom.  It's like when they were much younger and gave you a picture with two squiggly lines and said, "Can't you see it mom it's a dinosaur feeding its' babies." Yeah, I got it.

But regardless of what she is going to be when she grows up - I know this rock star is going to do it BIG!!

Career Day

I sure wish we had these days when I was growing up then maybe I could have made a decision about what I was going to be when I grow up.  Maybe had I known about some of the pitfalls ahead of time, I could have saved myself a lot of time.  Yet as I always say the journey we take makes us who we are.  We might make plenty of mistakes along the way, but the mistakes do not define us; it is what we do with the mistakes after that define us.

Growing up I always thought I would get into fashion (probably b/c I had none - LOL), but I often drew out my own designs for clothing I would have liked to have had.  I look back now and think it is not too far off from what I do now - I create.  I create things with my hands and with my words.

My oldest son's career day consists of a lot of questions like: what education or training do you need? what qualifications do you need? etc., but as for my youngest well it's basically, "Hey what do I get to wear?"  Last year, she was a baker and a cute one I might add, but of course she has yet again changed her mind, actually she has changed her mind 3 times this week, alas like mother like daughter.  So here she is last year:  

I wanted to make something unique and cute, so of course felt had to be involved.  So since I have the pictures for whatever reason - here's a short tutorial:

I started by cutting out sort of a scalloped 3" cloud shape, a 7"x2"  brown rectangle, a small red heart and a 2" brown circle, I ended up not using the pink circles.

I then stitched the circle to one side of the rectangle and stitched up the ends of the rectangle to make the bottom of the cupcake.

Next I flipped it inside out, yet if you like the look of the stitching you could always keep it like it is.

Stuff it!!

Then Stitch the top.

then Add the heart and a flower.

For the tray, I actually used a small vinyl record and just glued a paper doily to it and glued the cupcake to the tray.

I also made her the tag by adhering fabric to a cardboard rectangle, added the letters, a coffee filter folded up and a strawberry heart embellishment.

Hopefully by morning she will make a final decision on what she will be for career day, so I can get to work. (Hopefully, she's not like me still trying to decide what to be when I grow up.)

I will be at her career day this year as an artist/writer, but with kids this young I think the art will be more interesting to them.  Guess I will need to get my outfit together as well, hmmmmm  

"I wonder what I should wear?"