i always feel like somebody's watching me ...

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

yes, i do.  because while i'm eating my club today and picking out the roast beef (which i don't ever remember being in a club, but o well)  and not that i don't like roast beef, but it wasn't meshing well with the other meats ... anyway ...

 i wonder sometimes if someone's watching me eat either in the room or on camera, like that show that used to point out random people and the things they do and don't know they are being watched.  which is really creepy, but also probably very embarassing.  like are they watching me as i drop food on my clothing, wipe the boogers off my child's face, or pull my panty out my butt.  sometimes i wonder if while i chow down my whole meal they are looking at me and saying is that skinny beeoch for real.  is she really gonna eat that, or no way is she gonna eat all that, or watch she'll eat it all and then hurl it later.  though you might not like to hear it, i do eat and don't hurl, just letting you know.  and yeah, you probably don't want to know, but i don't even weigh 100 lbs, but i am healthy.  not anorexic, contrary to what the stupid doctor said after i went to him to figure out how to gain weight.  i eat as much or as little as i want.  i turn 35 next week and as everyone tells me it's going to catch up with me i've given up on that and just started thinking who cares anymore!  i'm good with it, it's sometimes frustrating when someone says it must be nice to be so thin, but when your child's friends start saying, "hey i have a shirt just like that"  it's not so wonderful.  it's kind of annoying when someone whispers, "huh, kids having kids"  yeah i know don't complain at least you look young, but sometimes just sometimes i want to scream,
"hey, i'm a grown woman people, i haven't set any guiness records in having children too young that goes to someone in brazil, well i think."  okay so maybe i won't yell all that - i might end up hoarse.

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