Claire Bear

I was tagged by Heth @ From Under the Laundry Pile for a baby meme, a little late but here it goes. 3 things that scare me: * my brother's monster mask (actually anything my brother has looks scary to me) * the sound of mommy psychotically screaming @ my brothers (what is up with that lady anyway?) * the toilet flushing in the stall as I peacefully sleep in my stroller (can't a baby get her beauty rest?) 3 people that make me laugh: * Hunter Bunter making funny faces * Seth(ocrates) tickling me * Daddy smiling 3 things I love: * FOOD * My Noonie (pacifier for all those who get technical about it) * FOOOOOOOD!!!! (I think my mom is starving me) 3 things I hate: * Turkey Rice Dressing (what is wrong with the world, can't I get a decent meal?) * Being Cold * Being Alone 3 things I don't understand: * Why can't I eat Chicken Nuggets, everybody else does? * Why do they think I understand goo-goo gaa-gaa- what language is that anyway? * Why can't my brothers just get out of my grill once in awhile? 3 things on my floor: * My brothers' toys * My toys * My blankie 3 things I'm doing right now: * Sitting up * Rolling over * Discovering the taste of fingers and toes 3 ways to describe my personality: * Content * Funny * Lovable 3 things you should listen to: * Laurie Berkner * Disney Lullabies * My daddy singing to me 3 things you should never listen to: * The word no * My brothers - they lie all the time * My mommy singing to me 3 things I want to do before I die (in other words three things my mom wishes for): * To love long and hard (Kim shut-up) even if it means I get my heart broken along the way * See a sunset even if it means staying out all night as long as I call my mom to let her know * To never end the day without saying I love you and I'm sorry 3 absolute fave foods: * Squash * Apple sauce * Sweet Potatos 3 beverages I drink regularly: * White Grape Juice * Apple Juice * Formula (why do they insist on giving me this - I need FOOOOD) 3 things I'd like to learn: * How to get my food in my mouth and not in up my nose * How to crawl, so I can break this joint * How to get mommy to feed me more 3 shows I watch: * Play with Me Sesame * Jack's Big Music Show * The Backyardigans

Yeah, that was Me!

If this week you were possibly passing somewhere along the Southern Coast you might have noticed - a woman running down the Interstate after her windshield wiper in the pouring down rain (sorry to the person in the red Honda whose car it hit as it flew in the next lane) - a woman frantically waving her arms in a minivan and screaming into a cell phone to her husband who obviously didn't give her the right directions - a woman who desperately looked for a Wal-mart that was located on a dirt road Or you may have noticed - the woman who looked insanely at the door greeter when she offered to keep her children, due to the rain, while she got the car, helllloooo wal-mart kidnapper!!! I don't think so! - a woman, who was still in the rain - was there some Tropical Storm I didn't know about? ;) loosing all her groceries in the parking lot puddles - a woman who struggled with three children, a diaper bag, a buggy, and two very uncooperative umbrellas that were just purchased turning inside out Or I know you had to have seen - the caffeine addicted woman who was shaking in the Starbuck's drive-thru waiting on her extremely huge Peppermint Mocha Latte, while her children cried to the sounds of music - the woman in the Ladies' mall bathroom viciously grabbing her bathroom stall peeker - the woman who dared to venture into the scrapbook store with 3 kids - as the storekeepeer glanced at her with the how dare she look But of course I hope you didn't notice - the woman on the side of the highway in the middle of the night peeing on the side of the road due to the massive caffeine intake - or shortly after the woman slipping in her own pee and throwing her back out - or even the shadow of a woman in a minivan bathing herself with baby wipes My apologies to all who witnessed the last three woman

My journey

As a new blog friend of mine, would say, "God is never late but He's never early either, He is on time!" I finally have a mode of transportation, one in which all of us can ride including a couple more. After being without a vehicle of my own for 8 months and being 5 miles from town I've learned quite a few things. 1. No vehicle is too ugly to drive. 2. Never refuse a ride to the store or an offer of them stopping at the store for you. 3. That I can just google some recipes with the ingredients in my cabinet. 4. Children don't mind eating pizza and mac-n-cheese everyday, morning, noon, and night ;) 5. Just think of all the people that are driving you around as your own personal chauffeur you can't afford. 6. Foam, glue, and craft sticks can occupy children for weeks. Just be ready to clean the mess. 7. No one will die from missing a ball game or storyhour - have your own at home. 8. And finally, that I have been blessed with the best family and friends to help me along the way. So, with this new van comes many fears. A lot of haunting images and crazy thoughts. I have only briefly mentioned my accident and not gone into detail due to the mental anguish of it. I have actually avoided writing about this, but here it goes, stay with me now. It was November 23, 2005 a beautiful day I might add. The day before Thanksgiving and the boys and I (8 months pregnant) were just returning from the Super Wal-mart with Thanksgiving food and Christmas gifts. My youngest was sleeping and the oldest reading in the back seat of my Nissan Sentra. The highways here follow alongside the bayou and there is a lot of open road. There are always accidents along both sides of the bayou and yet still lots of drivers do not heed the warnings. I put my blinker on to turn left onto my street and my son yelled, "Mom Look!" In mid turn, I glanced to my left only to be smacked in the face with my door by the grill of an eighteen-wheeler. He came out of no where. I felt my head being crushed into the back of my seat and then as though by some miracle I was able to pull my head loose. My car shifted and skidded along the side of the truck. At this time, I let go of the wheel, my car got caught on his load and began to crumple underneath the truck. I immediately rolled the windows down, unbuckled, and jumped to the back. I explained to my oldest that if we hit the water he would have to hold his breath and hold my hand to swim. I unbuckled my youngest and held on to them both. Angels were with us this day - my car stopped 10 feet from the bank. I finally took a breath and hugged my children thanking God for their lives and mine. Three men and more ran from all over to check on us. Asking us who was driving, due to me being in the back seat. I asked what I had done wrong. One man responded with, "You didn't do anything mam, you couldn't have stopped that. He was passing us all up (four vehicles) in a curve, in a no passing zone, while you were turning and drug you 150 feet. The man from the truck, probably in shock, never came out of his truck, but was not injured. My youngest had a small cut on his head from the glass and my oldest had a brush burn from the seatbelt. Little did I know of my injuries, my adrenaline prevented me from knowing about the baseball growing out of my head, my Joan River's lips and busted bleeding nose. I thought about this image often for months. And how bad I felt that I looked like that trying to talk to my children. It's no wonder I didn't scare them, yet my oldest son just responded with, "Mom you looked like a brave Mom, nothing scary." My husband was offshore at the time, so a call was made to him that I was being rushed to the hospital. I was going into labor. When I got to the hospital, a few things went wrong but nothing as major as what just happened. They were able to stop my labor and that's all that mattered to me. I was in the hospital for Thanksgiving, but released myself later that day. My husband on the way to see me in the hospital got into an accident also, but luckily was okay and did not have to visit the hospital. My ordeal has taught me that your loved ones can be taken from you in the blink of an eye, so don't take them for granted. That my time with them on earth is lived better by moments, not by minutes or hours. And that there is still strength left in me to take on the next challenge. I still have images that flash in my head once in awhile, but I try to comfort myself with knowing that God is with me every step of the way. Every day is a struggle to get on the road, but I know I have to so I press on. Funny, what lessons from life you get along the way. If anything, anyone that knows me can tell you though sometimes it takes getting hit by a Mactruck for Michelle to get it.

Mushy But Needed

Anyone who knows me, knows we've had a pretty rough year since August '05. Yet, my head still remains above water. I don't believe in pedaling through the storm without getting a little wet. I realize that we all can't have it all our way all the time. But sometimes when you've hit rock bottom and you don't seem to be going up, it gets tough to keep up the positivity. Three very important people to me (two family members and one a very best friend of mine) are going through some really hard times and don't seem to have that upbeat attitude they once did. Almost as though they are losing faith. I once turned to them for enlightenment, grounding, and encouragement through my trials and tribulations, but now I see that I must step up to the plate and give them a dose of their own medicine. To My Three Very Important People What I have learned from you: That we can wish our whole lives that our life will follow the paths we dream or pray for, yet sometimes along the way we find that what we dreamed and prayed for may not have been what was best for us. There are lessons in everything. That if you bottle up what is keeping you down, you will never see what the true human spirit in others is like to help you get through it. Those are the blessings worth receiving. That it just takes one friend to "go to jail" for you, to really understand her true love for you and what she would sacrifice. (just a note to readers, don't take that literally) That a pray unanswered may be your answer. He knows what's best. That just when you feel like giving up, I'll be there to helpvpick up the pieces. In my own story, in the past year, we've had a major hurricane, a job loss, a home loss, a car accident resulting in a car loss, and my grandmother passing away. Yet even in my darkest day, full of anxiety on the road, bill stressed, and grief stricken. These three and others guided me through. I don't believe that it is just God that gets us through, I believe he sends Angels to help Him with His work. My family and friends have definitely been mine.

Missing Him is an Understatement

As I sit here, quite late or early, however you may want to look at it, I cry. I miss him dearly. What I miss most: Our long talks, the ones about nothing at all and the more serious ones that included what are we teaching our children. His singing, every word of it. Whether the day was good or bad there was always time to sing. His laundry on the floor, letting me know he worked hard. His snoring that kept me awake at night. His inappropriate comments in department stores that made me laugh. His complaints of me staying up too late working and that I needed my rest. His playful bantor. His whimiscal way of seeing the silver lining. His wrestling move performances with the boys. His warm touch and loving comments on my "Mother Dearest" looking days. I miss his toilet seat up, trash left out, clothes not hung, overeating self. But I will not say I miss his farting, because no I do not miss that - I repeat I do not miss that!!!